I dislike being used. Most of the time I like helping my friends out, feeding them on weekends, hosting them whenever I can. Some of them, however are begining to get on my nerves. Certain friends have gotten to the point where they seem to think that coming to my house entitles them to give up all politeness, to not help me in any way, and to get indignant when I ask them to help defray the costs of hosting them shabbat after shabbat after shabbat. I don't host many shabbatot anymore because I can't afford it. On top of that one friend really got on my nerves by telling me I was rude to him for asking him to rspect my belongings and treat them with care. I got so angry I was unable to enjoy the company of my friends. I dislike, more than anythign else, my ability to get angry. I see it in others and I feel ashamed of it in myself. That it was a friend who did things that made me angry bothers me, that I got angry at a friend really disturbs me.

(10/26/01)

I dislike feeling rejected. It is not a pleasant feeling. I abhor feeling petty (much more than feeling rejected) which seems to be my instant reaction to being rejected. Good thing I have a tight handhold on it, otherwise I might say/do stupid things.

Now does not seem the right time to start declairing what I don't like. Now seems to be a time during which I should be posative.

towards that end, look here.